Even Now (for the night of the New Moon)

                                                                                                         Monday's Theme: Relying on the Moon
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     There is a tender, yet mighty faith that companions us on our darkest nights. This faith journeys with us when we feel lost and find ourselves on the dark side of the moon. It is here when we feel the emptiness and despair of our deep, deep grief. This faith is with us, even when we forget. It is with us when grace finds us. Our faith is with us when we are reminded that there is no place where we are forgotten by God.
 
     This mighty and tender faith is with us at a loved one’s bedside where we are keeping the final vigil and, in this moment, we are remembered. It is with us when we are walking out of the doctor’s office or reading that much-awaited email, when all the tests are in and we live with the results, and in this moment, we are remembered. It is with us when we are told that our “services are no longer required,” and in this moment, we are remembered. Even here – here in the depths of life’s most broken moments – even here – in this moment, we are remembered. It is here in this most lonely place that we continue to be connected to the One who remembers us. Especially here, Emmanuel, God is with us.
 
     The psalmist reminds us to call out to God, “Out of the depths have I cried unto you, O Lord.” (Psalm 130:1). In what feels to be the most Godforsaken place, out of this place, we are told to cry out to Emmanuel.
 
     As we move through our time of grief, we are aware of how our crying out to God is always, somehow changing. At times our cries are in anger, other times we cry out as one lost in the wilderness. And we well know the times when our cry is only a silent lament. Either in our words or in ourselves, as we tonight companion the New Moon, may we be paying attention and begin to sense something moving, shifting within.
 
     We know that this night is both the darkest night and the first night of the moon’s new journey, Advent’s new beginning. We have come to 2020’s final new moon. Perhaps when we listen for the sound of our cry in the dark, we are reminded of the strength that accompanies the prayer. Perhaps in giving voice to our deepest despair we are given the greatest gift in return - God’s promise to always be with us. Perhaps on this darkest night, when our eyes are straining to see, on this night we are reminded to look instead with our hearts. 
 
(a chapter adapted a little bit from my book,  Grief and the Psalms: Companioning the Moon for 29 Days)

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