Give My Heart

In the bleak midwinter
Frosty wind made moan
Earth stood hard as iron
Water like a stone
Snow had fallen
Snow on snow on snow
In the bleak midwinter
Long, long ago

What can I give him?
Poor as I am
If I were a shepherd
I would give a lamb
If I were a wise man
I would do my part
But what I can I give him
Give him my heart
Give him my heart
~ Christina Rossetti (1875)​

Do you ever wish for a glimpse-back of a time you first learned something? Going back in time and watching as an ah-ha moment of understanding unfolded?

I wish I could remember how old I was when I first sang ‘In the Bleak MidWinter.’ I imagine I was pre-teen with a hymnal in my hand singing along with the congregation in a UMC worship service. Central Illinois winters were cold, and there was always a body-knowing of earth being “hard as iron” and snow falling, “snow on snow on snow.” What was going through my mind and in my heart when I heard these versus first sung? What can I give him? How did that question resonate with me then?
 
This is a life-question being asked over and over. What is mine worth giving to the one who is soon to be born? And in giving my heart, what does that mean, day-by-day? And even as these words appear on the page, I am aware that this gift is not supposed to be an intellectual exercise. It is, after all a matter of the heart. Giving my heart is all about my way of being in the world.
 
Many years ago, my wonderful seminary professor, Roberta Bondi (and years later Israel teaching guide) led a retreat on prayer. She said prayer is about showing up, being honest, paying attention and not being wedded to the outcome. And it is. And so is giving my heart. It’s that concise and that expansive.

We continue on our journey to Bethlehem. Soon and very soon the story will start to unfold in ways familiar to many of us. Soon and very soon the rhythm of our days will be speeded up by forces outside of ourselves. Soon and very soon… So, it matters that we continue to stop and pay attention. And for me one intention of being mindful would be singing this verse from Bleak Midwinter a time or two. What shall I give him? My heart is the very best gift.
 

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