Here's to you, Barbara Ann. You continue in my heart and on my mind.
Began working on the next book and the working title is "Grief and the Psalms: Companioning the Moon for 29 Days." It makes perfect sense to me that Mom's was the first chapter written. Thank you, Mom for loving me so well. I miss you everyday.
(First day in the Waxing Moon Days)
Psalm 90:12 Teach us to count our days that are ours, and we shall come to the heart of wisdom.
Time is Different Here
A few months after my mother died, I heard her voice as clearly as if she were standing beside me. “Time is different here,” she said. Four words. Simple, clear. Powerful, reassuring. And her words have been a comfort a guide ever since.
So much of our days are spent racing against the clock or wishing for time to stand still. We long to be in control of these days we’ve been given. Chronos time is wristwatch time, calendar time, measureable-time. Grief time, God’s time is chairos time. It is the time in-between time. It is the time holding time.
Sitting vigil with a loved one who is dying is chairos time. It can be exhausting and also the most precious, most holy time of our lives. We find ourselves breathing with the one who is leaving. There is so much to say and our words feel both so very intimate and yet not enough. Time is different….here.
Counting our days and then coming to this time when we find ourselves counting our breaths, draws us unto the presence of the Holy. It is here in this place closest to the heart of wisdom that we draw near to the comforting grace of God. It is here where we catch a glimpse of the lifelove that has held us with each breath and will hold us until our last. And (as I’ve heard from Mom) beyond that.
“time is different” “here”
Wondrous God, teach us to count our days and to live into the beauty of this day. Draw us closer to you and to the grace and mercy as close to us as our next breath. Amen.
Working in Family Experience at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta, Lesley is an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ. A Candler School of Theology graduate, Lesley has just published her second book, Grief and the Psalms: Companioning the Moon for 29 Days (available on this website). She and her partner, Linda Ellis are raising their two sons, Brogan and Sam in Decatur, GA.