In our end is our beginning in our time infinity,
in our doubt there is believing, in our life eternity...
...unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.
~ from "Hymn of Promise
Life isn't always easy, and we all go through times of rolling uphill or down. In the past several weeks my life has felt all uphill. Up, up, keep on climbing. Dig a little deeper, push a little harder. Left foot, right foot. And lately it's felt like there has been little or nothing to grab onto for the climb. I've got to say that it's been tough. More days than not have felt harder than my heart could do. "More than you can pray over," I've heard it said. And that felt true.
And now as I come to this this day of Spring 2016, this brand, new day it's as though my spirit has been invited to begin again. Wake up. Look around. Breathe deeply. Now as I come to this day I am reminded of a great gift: God has found me over and over and over again. And I can't begin to find words for how grateful I am. Truly wide – open grateful.
My sister, Betsey gave me a copy of the soundtrack from the musical "Hamilton" and those songs have been companioning me. "It would be enough," has Eliza singing, `look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now..." This whole past weekend has been filled to overflowing with living, breathing examples of the gift of `looking around.' Friday night, Linda and I met our friends Jeri and Susan and sat at a sidewalk table and shared dinner. All around us Decatur was just being Decatur. People were walking side-by-side, hand-in-hand, talking and laughing. People at home with themselves, with one another. Then Saturday after a gracious and kind breakfast with my sisters of Booth 25, I stopped by the Y. Two old friends from St. John's Church reached out to me with love and compassion. They had no idea of my weary spirit. They just showed up. They appeared to me as messengers of light and love. In these past couple of days over and over and over again God has reminded me of yes. My faith is incarnational. When I trust and believe, I am invited look around and see the grace of God in folks around me.
On this first day of spring I am ready for a change. On this first day of a new season, I am ready for the turning of the page and seeing what comes next. On this chilly Sunday morning, I am so very thankful for the God who created and is creating still all around me. Hard times come and go. Feelings of being lost and weary-spirited are part of this life we live. This day I give thanks to God for the grace that reminds me of coming home again. On this first day of Spring, the light is comin' on, lest we forget.
If those tiny sprigs of new grass, can push through the Georgia clay and make their way to the sun, then it is my joy to do just the same with my life and this new season.
Working as a Hospice Chaplain, Lesley is an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ. A Candler School of Theology graduate, Lesley has just published her second book, Grief and the Psalms: Companioning the Moon for 29 Days (available on this website). She and her partner, Linda Ellis are raising their two sons, Brogan and Sam in Decatur, GA.